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[MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC, "POMP AND CIRCUMSTANCE"]
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
[APPLAUSE]
SPEAKER 1: Distinguished guests, the 2023 Cornell Law School procession is underway. At this time, we acknowledge and thank the Cornell Law School faculty and administrators who are next in the procession. They are led by George Hay, the Charles Frank Revis Senior Professor of Law and Professor of Economics, followed by Dean of Students Markeisha Miner, and the Dean for Cornell Law School, Jens David Ohlin.
MARKEISHA MINER: Good afternoon. Cornell University is located on the traditional homelands of the Guyogohó:no', the Cayuga Nation. The Guyogohó:no' are members of the Haudenosaunee Confederacy, an alliance of six sovereign nations with a historic and contemporary presence on this land. The Confederacy precedes the establishment of Cornell University, New York State, and the United States of America.
We acknowledge the painful history of Guyogohó:no' dispossession and honor the ongoing connection of the Guyogohó:no' people, past and present, to these lands and waters. Graduates, please be seated. And faculty, please be seated. It is now my privilege to introduce our presider, Jens David Ohlin, the Allan R. Tessler Dean and Professor of Law.
[APPLAUSE]
JENS DAVID OHLIN: Distinguished faculty, cherished family and friends, and impressive students, welcome to today's convocation in honor of the tenacious graduates of the unique and unprecedented Cornell Law School Class of 2023! You made it!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
[WHISTLES]
First, before we do anything else, I think it's important that we recognize the essential role played by your family and friends in your accomplishment. Your accomplishments today are very much your own, but it is also important and humbling to acknowledge the support that you received from so many quarters. For every victory won and every obstacle overcome, for every triumph and every tear, there was a family member standing behind you feeling that emotion and living vicariously through your legal education. Please turn to your families in the stands, to the parents, the siblings, the friends, the spouses, the children, and say thank you.
[APPLAUSE]
Today, you are graduating into a world full of old and new challenges. The practice of law is changing, and old economic assumptions are falling by the wayside. Democratic institutions are under assault, and faith in our political system is compromised.
If that weren't enough, technological changes will open up virtually unlimited possibilities but will also reveal hidden dangers. Some of these dangers are surely exaggerated. So-called longtermists, ethicists who became household names due to their association with FTX founder Sam Bankman-Fried, worry that an out-of-control artificial intelligence could unwittingly destroy all of humanity. This is a rather fanciful outcome, and I prefer to worry about more concrete and immediate concerns.
Indeed, there are changes all around us that will impact your future, including how you research and practice law in the coming years no matter what area of specialty you choose for your long career. To take just one example, the technology inherent in ChatGPT promises to add an extra layer of automation to the practice of law. Of course, this is not the first technological innovation in the legal industry.
As lawyers, we survived, indeed thrived, despite these technological revolutions. There was a time before Lexis, before Westlaw, even before computers. Lawyers got better with these tools at their disposal, not worse. But ChatGPT offers us a new possibility-- replacement of the lawyer with the work of a fully automated artificial intelligence. In other words, the worst possible nightmare for [? Deena ?] [? Cheya ?] and the Career Services Department.
[LAUGHTER]
Now, I'm a die-hard humanist, and I firmly believe that it will be a long time, if ever, before an artificial intelligence can replicate the work, the passion, and the creativity of individual human beings, especially lawyers.
[SPARSE APPLAUSE]
The mathematician-- yeah. Shout out to the lawyers.
[APPLAUSE]
The mathematician, Alan Turing, famously postulated that an AI should be considered a person if and when a regular human being could not tell the difference in a casual conversation between another human being and an artificial intelligence. In other words, an AI that walks like a duck and sounds like a duck is, for all relevant purposes, a duck, or at least so said Alan Turing. Now, this was a controversial statement, but it's as good an answer to the question as any other.
So I asked myself, how could I test ChatGPT to really find out the limits of its capabilities? I wanted to know, how close are we to being replaced by a runaway artificial intelligence? To conduct this test, I had to find a really difficult assignment to feed ChatGPT, something that would challenge its limitations. And I mean, not just challenge but ultimately get it to concede defeat, and get it to conclusively admit its limitations.
At first, I thought about taking a multiple choice question from one of Kevin Claremont's notoriously tricky Civ Pro exams. And then I thought of a three-page long fact pattern from one of Sherry Johnson's Con Law exams. But no, I thought. These are difficult, to be sure, but I wanted something that would deal a knockout blow, like when Captain Kirk in the original Star Trek series would defeat a computer by twisting it into a logical paradox and it would catch fire and explode.
[LAUGHTER]
And it finally occurred to me. Creativity is its limit. It's not very original. It just pulls from other sources on the internet and slaps them together. So I should ask it to compose a song because that requires true artistry. And attorneys, after all, demonstrate a kind of artistry in the craft of lawyering, advocacy, and counseling, and a form of creativity and developing new and unprecedented solutions to the problems brought to them by their clients.
And then I thought, let's make the assignment even more difficult. Let's ask it to compose not just any song but a song about something specific, so a song about Cornell Law School, and more specifically, about my favorite class, the Class of 2023.
[APPLAUSE]
And now, the kicker-- ask it to compose the song in the musical style of Jay-Z and Alicia Keys. Take that, ChatGPT. So that's what I went with, and let's check out the results and see whether the future belongs to human lawyers or to artificial intelligence. Now, there are some difficult legal issues posed here, but I think I've resolved them.
There are certainly intellectual property concerns, and I don't want Jay-Z or Alicia Keys suing me because I'm sure they have amazing lawyers, even if they didn't go to Cornell. But, I did the research-- thanks to my good friends Oskar Liivak, James Grimmelmann, and our other IP faculty-- as any good Cornell Law student would do, and I found so many defenses that will help us.
First, parody is a legally protected category. Otherwise, we wouldn't have the genius of Weird Al Yankovic and his long and productive career. And we certainly wouldn't have had Nathan Fielder's brilliant but short-lived parody coffee shop called Dumb Starbucks. Second, there's the fair use doctrine, which certainly applies here.
Third, I'm not going to sing the song to music. I'm not going to set it to music, which should help. And fourth, I can always implead the creators of ChatGPT and drag them into the litigation as the ultimate source of responsibility. See, I too was paying attention in Civ Pro, at least up until Erie.
Finally, if all else fails, I'm comforted to know that I have an entire graduating class of brilliant attorneys who will, I hope, stand up for me in a court of law and defend my interests with the zealous and skilled advocacy that you learned here. Do you want to hear it?
AUDIENCE: Yeah.
JENS DAVID OHLIN: I'm going to have to channel my inner Ari Melber and my inner Kendall Roy and "lip sync for my life," as they say. Unfortunately, I can't really sing at all. I'm really bad at singing, so I'm just going to speak the lyrics, and you'll have to imagine the melody. But if anyone in the audience wants to provide sort of an a capella syncopated backing beat, that would not be unwelcomed. That would work out quite nicely.
And I should also apologize to the families in the audience because some of the lyrics in the song are, shall we say, local references and will be more meaningful to the students. So let's just consider this my personal, heartfelt AI-generated present to the Graduating Class of 2023. And I'm sorry that I ran out of silver pens and keychains, and all you got was this silly song.
I also want to add this italicized disclaimer for the record and for posterity, and for the provost, who is not a lawyer, any apparent references to alcohol in the lyrics are really references to obscure common law legal doctrines and Roman maxims that just happened to sound like well-known prohibition-era cocktails. Just for the record. All right.
So the song is called Ithaca State of Mind by ChatGPT.
[APPLAUSE]
Yeah, Columbia's got Harlem, but I'm from Myron Taylor 607, the cloudy city. Bagels at the CT. Ramen from Oishii. But Copper Horse Coffee got me feeling like a champion.
I'm late for class, but it don't matter. I got outlines, I'll make cash. Eight million stories out there in the courtyard dash. Moot court, law review, ILJ, LII. Cruising down the Commons, they say I'm the 3L OG. Made Manhattans more famous than the city.
In Myron Taylor, hallway maze where dreams are made of. There's nothing you can't do now that you're at Cornell. This place will make you feel brand new. BHS will inspire you. Let's hear it for Cornell. Let's hear it for Cornell.
AD White's lawyers in the best sense, they say it don't make sense, but we're the palace of common sense. Graduate to big law, but I don't need the bright lights. I got Ivy. Run for office like my hero, Zellnor Myrie. Rocking public service, first Second Circuit. Then SCOTUS' clerkship, where the Yale Law students don't know how to act.
[LAUGHTER]
In Myron Taylor, hallway maze where dreams are made of. There's nothing you can't do now that you're at Cornell. This place will make you feel brand new. John Blum will inspire you. Let's hear it for Cornell. Let's hear it for Cornell.
Long live the Big Red. We're from the East Coast. We don't need sunshine. We got Riesling on the vine. Harvard and Stanford don't have the fire because we're the giants of the esquire. Sing her praises, we're Cornell! Cornell! Thank you!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
So the ChatGPT is pretty good. It might replace us. I have to say that last year my graduation speech was criticized because it was all about war crimes, tribunals, and it was a little bit of a downer. But this year might have been a slight overcorrection. We'll see. We'll find out.
[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]
Since I couldn't really sing the chorus properly, I'd like to make this promise to you, the graduating class. If you come to one of our alumni receptions in New York next year, we can go out for karaoke in K-town, where my name is sometimes whispered in the hushed tones of legend, and we can sing Alicia Keys' chorus to the real Empire State of Mind. And if you're not near K-town, we'll do it in Chicago, DC, LA, or Boston, or better yet, in Seoul, in Tokyo, in Hong Kong, or in Beijing.
No matter where you are in the world, you'll be a part of this wonderful community forever. Speaking on behalf of the faculty on this stage, let me just say how incredibly proud of you we are. Each class here at Cornell Law School contains brilliant and accomplished students and future lawyers, but there is something special about those of you who made it this year.
Forged in a global pandemic, a bond deepened and strengthened, despite the gulf of social distancing and masks and graduating into a turbulent economic order, your class accomplished so much despite the challenges and obstacles placed before you. You've demonstrated tremendous creativity in your approach to legal questions. You studied the law in our classrooms and then applied it in our local and global communities, serving real clients with the zeal, enthusiasm, and maturity usually found only in a seasoned attorney with decades of experience.
If your grit over the last few years is any indication, the rule of law is in your good hands. If I can ask one thing of you, remember this. Wear these colors proudly. Speak our name loudly. And carry our proverbial banner high so that the greatness of your accomplishments shines a reflective glory on this institution and this community where your journey began. Congratulations to the resilient, the epic, the iconic Graduating Class of 2023!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
I'm now very pleased to introduce our amazing student speakers, selected by their fellow graduates to offer words of reflection, wisdom, and inspiration on this special day. Speaking first will be Charlene Hong representing the JD graduates. Charlene has been very active in moot court winning the Langfan Moot Court Competition as a 1L, serving as Captain of Cornell's Jessup International Law Moot Court Competition as a 2L, and finally, leading the Moot Court Board as Chancellor in her 3L year.
So despite not being an attorney yet, she's already an accomplished courtroom advocate and certainly knows how to give a great speech. Charlene was also an articles editor of the Cornell Law Review and previously served as Co-President of the Asian Pacific American Law Students Association. She earned her BA cum laude from Harvard College. After graduation, she'll join Wachtell, Lipton, Rosen and Katz as a litigation associate in the firm's New York City office. Please join me in welcoming Charlene.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
CHARLENE HONG: Thank you so much, Dean. I didn't know that you and I both share a love for K-town karaoke, so I will definitely be hitting you up. Thank you so much, class, for choosing me as your speaker. It's an honor to be up here speaking to you all, and it's been even a bigger honor to have been your classmate for the last three years.
For those who do know me well, especially Moot Court Board, you know that there's more than a 75% chance that I will cry during this speech, so I'm going to try my best to keep it together today. And before I begin my speech, I want to just thank my mom and dad who are here in the audience today. The person I am today I am because of your sacrifices and your love, so you're both my everything, and I can't thank you enough for helping me get through law school and achieving this milestone in my life today.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
Having gotten to know my colleagues in the Class of 2023, I know I'm not alone in having been able to make this amazing accomplishment with an amazing support system on this journey. So on behalf of the class, I would like to thank all the family and friends in the audience for your encouragement and for helping make this all possible. Could we please give a huge round of applause for our family and friends in the audience today?
[APPLAUSE]
To the Class of 2023, we made an important choice at the beginning of this journey. The choice to apply to law school before March of 2020, before we even had an idea of what was about to happen to the entire world. Many of us had someone say incredulously to us when we told them of our decision to attend law school-- now, why would you go and do something like that? And they were right, in a sense, because choosing to not only go to law school, but to start the most notoriously difficult year of law school during a global pandemic was anything but a choice made by an objective, reasonable person.
This class embraced Zoom School of Law with tremendous grace and tenacity. We navigated awkward Zoom orientation sessions and the seventh circle of hell Zoom breakout rooms for class discussions. We survived Zoom cold calls where many of us were plagued by technical issues that somehow made it incredibly difficult for our mics to work despite the fact that we had perfect Wi-Fi connections still.
And as 2Ls and 3Ls, we revived student organizations that had not seen an in-person student event in more than two years maneuver the transition back to the fully in-person classroom experience and witness the school's return to a fully in-person, full-fledged Fall Ball where absolutely every single balloon in Duffield Hall that night survived.
In reflecting on our graduation, I remembered one of my favorite quotes during undergrad, when I saw it on these old iron gates on this wall on the edge of campus. On the outside of the wall facing inwards towards campus the inscription reads, "Enter to grow in wisdom." And on the other side of the gates, facing onto the street away from campus, it says, "Depart to serve better thy country and thy kind."
Throughout it all, we as a class have never let the difficult circumstances and challenges in the past three years keep us from learning and growing in wisdom here at Cornell Law School. Despite not having even departed Cornell yet, I have watched you all already achieve incredible things in the service of others. Providing much needed translation and legal services to newly arrived immigrants in New York City. Advocating for habeas relief for death row inmates in South Carolina. Passionately arguing in court against eviction for Ithaca tenants.
Successfully negotiating a settlement on behalf of a transgender client who suffered discrimination and retaliation in the workplace. Winning asylum for a family in Buffalo Immigration Court. And helping a local Cornell alumni couple achieve their dreams by opening a restaurant, right here in Ithaca, that seeks to employ refugees and promote sustainability. This is just a mere snapshot of the tireless dedication and passion that our class demonstrates and the work that we have achieved.
And I have endless admiration and pride for all of you as my fellow classmates for your service to others. I do want to take this moment to thank our professors for setting the best examples of what it means to depart law school and go on to serve humankind. Thank you to the faculty, including professors John Blum, Jacqueline Kelley-Widmer, Keir Weyble, Christina Neitzey, Michelle Whelan, and so, so many others who have led by example in how to be tireless advocates for your clients, and how to empower your clients by treating each one with kindness and the utmost respect.
Thank you to all of our professors for your wisdom, compassion, and true love for the law that you have shown us. Could we also give our professors round of applause as well?
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
Class of 2023, we're now faced with another set of choices. The choices that will determine the kind of lawyers we will be. I don't feel any intimidation or pressure regarding that choice because of the knowledge and training that our professors equipped us with. They have taught us to know how to defend and uphold the law as well as to take courage in challenging the law when we know that it is wrong.
I would not be standing here before you as an Asian-American woman about to graduate from a top US law school had our predecessors in the field, if they had not fought for some laws to change. So I hope that we will always take courage to do the right thing and extend that courage in assisting others to fight for justice.
As a parting message, I want to share the words of one of my favorite legal icons, Elle Woods. "It is with passion, courage of conviction, and strong sense of self that we take our next steps into the world remembering that first impressions are not always correct. You must always have faith in people, and most importantly, you must always have faith in yourself."
And without a doubt, there are going to be times in our career and late nights ahead of us. And in those challenging moments, I hope we remember that just like how we made it through law school during the most chaotic time human history has experienced in recent years, we should have faith in ourselves that we can overcome these tough moments too.
I will miss the times we talked too loudly in the reading room, sang our hearts out in unison to Taylor Swift at karaoke at Kilpatrick's and a Barrister's Ball, admired art with the Art Law Society, downed way too many sake bombs at Four Seasons, enjoyed fishbowls in the basement of Level B, played darts and pool at Chanticleer, and all the times we were almost late to class because we lost track of time chatting with each other in the Commons.
All of those times brought me so much joy, and my hope is that we carry that joy into the next chapter of our lives as we embark on our careers. May we always cherish our memories from law school and be supportive friends and colleagues to one another as we all continue learning and growing as lawyers. Congratulations, Class of 2023. You've earned it, and you've earned every single good thing that's coming your way soon. Cheers to us.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
JENS DAVID OHLIN: Thank you, Charlene, for those lovely and inspiring remarks. I could see how meaningful they were for your fellow students. Our LLM speaker today is Mayar Darawshe. Mayar is a certified advocate of the Israeli Bar Association.
Prior to coming to Cornell to earn an LLM degree, Mayar practiced transactional law with the Amit, Pollak, Matalon and Company law firm in Tel Aviv, Israel. Mayar earned her LLB from Tel Aviv where she participated in the Human Rights Clinic and the Jessup International Law Moot Court.
At Cornell, she served on the Editorial Board of the Cornell International Law Journal. After graduation, Mayar hopes to continue her research through a JSD program in law. She's already established herself as an emerging scholarly voice, and we look forward to hearing her insights today. Please welcome Mayar.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
MAYAR DARAWSHE: Thank you. So honored to be here. So when I was young, I found myself caught in a tangle of dreams. My parents had the expectation that I would become a doctor, while my dear late grandmother had hopes for me to become a wife.
[LAUGHTER]
And I, honestly, just wanted to become Spider-Man.
[LAUGHTER]
However, I managed to defy all expectations and became a lawyer instead. Eventually, the paths we take, we come to truly appreciate the beauty of the unpredictable. Each passing day reaffirms that I have made the right decision. This decision has led me to conclude this beautiful chapter with you today.
As the grand door of Cornell Law School open before me, I, like the rest of my dear fellow LLMs, left my family, friends, and some of my favorite outfits to venture into the unknown. Cornell became a place of both intellectual and sentimental growth for me. I was constantly in awe of the brilliance and kindness that surrounded me.
While my learning experience began in the classrooms, it continued to unfold through conversations with friends and acquaintances where we debated various subjects ranging from political conflicts that engulf our reality to the importance of applying sunscreen. Climbing Cornell Hill every day on my way to school revealed two simple truths. First, I realized I really needed to improve my cardio. And second, I finally understood Albert Camus words about Sisyphus finding meaning in his hard work.
Camus said, "The struggle itself toward the heights is enough to fill a man's heart. One must imagine Sisyphus happy." Indeed, boundless happiness exists in our serious pursuit of justice and peace. We owe it to ourselves and others to lead a purposeful and meaningful life.
Cornell taught me several other valuable lessons I humbly wish to share with you. Not all superheroes should spider webs, although that would have been nice, but rather, small acts of kindness are the true expression of heroism. Do good, think critically, pump iron, pursue rigorous intellect, never allow your self-worth to depend on external validation. Remember, you are capable of more than you think. Celebrate your small achievements. And most importantly, relish the journey.
I would like to express my gratitude to my wonderful family for their constant love and support. To the dedicated faculty and administrative staff who have spared no effort nor sacrifice in ensuring our comfort and success. I extend my deepest appreciation. I also want to especially thank Ruiting Chen, Dunja Stanic, and Habib Habib for taking exceptional care of the LLMs.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
Finally, I urge each and every one of you to embark on your own journey with open minds and loving hearts. As agents of change, we are leaving this beautiful life Cornell has bestowed upon us to take off into the world and make it a safer and better place. Congratulations on completing yet another transformative chapter in your lives. May there be countless more to come. I love you and wish you all the happiness and success. Thank you.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
JENS DAVID OHLIN: Thank you, Mayar, for delivering such a thoughtful message not only to your LLM classmates but to all of us. Now, I am very pleased to introduce your faculty speaker, Charles Whitehead, the Myron C. Taylor Alumni Professor of Business Law. In addition to being the author of countless law review articles and essays, Professor Whitehead is the co-author of leading case books in the field of corporate law.
To our students at Cornell Law School, though, he is better known for his skill in the classroom, communicating complex legal and business concepts with equal measure of rigor, subtlety, and good humor. It's no surprise to me that our students, in selecting their convocation speaker, voted for our esteemed Professor Whitehead. Chuck, take it away.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
CHARLES WHITEHEAD: Dean Ohlin, faculty colleagues, friends, and family, and most of all, members of the Cornell Law School Graduating Class of 2023, thank you for your invitation to speak as we mark the end, for most of you, of your formal legal education at Cornell University. I was touched and honored to be asked.
It is a teacher's greatest privilege to address a class as it stands on the world's doorstep. In a very real sense, the world lies before you today. It's truly exhilarating to contemplate the great things that you'll all do.
Today has a particular significance. For many, today is the first step in a transition from the world of academics to the world of practice, taking with you years of learning, dedication, and hard work, and applying them now to the real world outside these doors. My colleagues and I have had the privilege of watching you gain new skills and knowledge and of learning from you.
But now, for the first time, your work will affect others' lives, not simply your own grades. So in these final moments in law school, what can I say that may help you along the way? I think I can sum it up in three words-- ice cream sundaes.
So why those three words? Well, first, just like the bowl you need for an ice cream sundae, graduating from law school requires a solid foundation. The completion of your law school education, as I know you know, is no small feat. It's the culmination of years of accomplishments and successes, and the support of the people around you, and those who helped you along the way. A solid foundation of what you, your families, and your loved ones and friends should be especially proud.
Second, studying at Cornell is like building an ice cream sundae. It takes time and effort to create something truly great. You've spent countless hours reading and outlining cases, writing briefs, and studying for exams. But just like building the perfect sundae, your efforts have all been worth it.
And third, like the toppings on a sundae, you have a whole menu of paths and specialties within the law that each of you has had the opportunity to explore while in law school and will continue to explore over the course of your careers. Whether it's environmental law, criminal law, corporate law, or something else, each of you has found or will find your own unique topping or toppings to add to your legal sundae.
Of course, you might also say that Cornell is like an ice cream sundae because it's always cold and sometimes it makes your head hurt. But to be honest, as true as all of this is, it isn't the real reason why ice cream sundaes came to mind. Let me explain.
Ice cream sundaes are one consequence of the so-called "blue laws" from the 1800s. For those of you who took Securities Regulation, these are blue laws not blue sky laws. As many of you know, blue laws, sometimes known as Sunday laws, restrict or ban certain activities, usually on Sundays. It's why, in Ithaca, you can't buy packaged liquor on Sunday mornings, even though you can buy them on any other morning of the week.
Many of the blue laws were adopted to promote Sunday as a day of worship. Now, in the late 1800s, soda water was thought to be a kind of gateway drug for the younger generation, drawing them away from healthy pure water toward alcohol and worse. Soda water was a particular concern when combined with flavored syrup and ice cream. So the old fashioned ice cream soda became suspect, and blue laws banned their sale on Sundays.
But consider this start with an ice cream soda. Keep the ice cream and the toppings, but now, instead of soda water and syrup, just have flavored syrup instead. And what do you have? An ice cream sundae.
Yes, ice cream sundaes were born by way of a loophole in the local blue laws. And so as not to antagonize others, and because ice cream sundaes began to be served the entire week, the original name "Sunday," with an A-Y, was changed to "sundae," with an A-E, at the end of the name.
OK. So now that you know the history, you might ask, where is the birthplace of the ice cream sundae? Actually, Ithaca, New York claims that distinction. It's difficult to confirm the precise history, but the story is that on April 3, 1892, Reverend John Scott of the Ithaca Unitarian Church met with Chester Platt, owner of the local Platt and Colt Pharmacy, as part of a regular rendezvous after each Sunday's church service.
Back then, ice cream was often sold at lunch counters located inside pharmacies. Mr. Platt fixed himself and Reverend Scott two dishes of plain vanilla ice cream, not an ice cream soda because that would have been illegal. And he decided this time to garnish the plain vanilla ice cream with a few candied cherries and a splash of cherry syrup.
Reverend Scott was so impressed with the result, he told Mr. Platt that it should be named for the day it was created. So it became known in Ithaca as the Cherry Sunday, and later, the Ice Cream Sundae. Now, you may say that putting syrup on ice cream could not have been all that novel, even in April of 1892.
However, just adding syrup to ice cream isn't really a sundae. The ice cream sundae was only created once a candied cherry was placed on the top. It's an important distinction. And this was what was first done in Ithaca.
But there is a problem. You see there's, another town-- Two Rivers, Wisconsin-- a usurper, who also claims to be birthplace of the ice cream sundae. How many of you have ever visited or even heard of Two Rivers, Wisconsin? Yeah, me neither.
[LAUGHTER]
So ask yourself-- how could a dessert invented in a small town in the middle of nowhere become a national treasure? You might ask the same question about Ithaca. Well, the answer for Ithaca is fairly simple. You are the reason why ice cream sundaes became so popular around the country and around the world.
Cornell students were introduced to the ice cream sundae at Mr. Platt's pharmacy. And when they went home, they told their friends and families, the local druggists, about the new dessert. Long before Instagram, you and your fellow Cornell alumni were the first influencers, shaping perceptions around the world.
Now, curious about this Two Rivers usurper, I went online to do some research. Honestly, what I found is that Two Rivers is a beautiful town located on the shores of Lake Michigan, about 90 miles north of Milwaukee. In many ways, it's not unlike Ithaca. A small town with a lot of activities and local businesses, cool summers, and winters that can be cold but are moderated by the lake.
The problem is-- they still maintain their claim to the ice cream sundae. As recently as 2006, the Two Rivers City Council enacted a, quote, "resolution formally challenging the city of Ithaca New York's claim to be birthplace of the ice cream sundae." The resolution went on to declare, "the city of Ithaca is hereby directed to cease and desist from its continued claims of being birthplace of the ice cream sundae, lest the city of Two Rivers be forced to take further action to set the historical record straight."
So I was recently thinking about ice cream sundaes and also about Two Rivers. And while there are many great things in Two Rivers-- a local museum, a few beaches, some beautiful parks-- what they don't have is Cornell Law School. So I ask all of you, what might we do to help set the record straight?
As a lawyer, I suppose there are a range of options to consider. I won't list them all here. They're not without significant defenses for which we'll need to prepare. But for starters, perhaps we might consider false advertising and deceptive trade practices.
In New York, deceptive acts or practices in the conduct of any business trade or commerce are unlawful under Section 349 of the New York General Business Law. And Section 100.18 of the Wisconsin Statutes prohibits any person from making false or misleading statements about a product in an effort to induce someone to enter into a contract or obligation relating to the purchase of merchandise.
Why buy a sundae in Two Rivers when you can go to the birthplace of sundaes here in Ithaca? The deceit we might claim is material to a consumer's decision to purchase or use a product, and Ithaca has suffered an injury as a result. Truthfully, I don't think I'd go that far, but perhaps it bears some additional investigation.
So how does all of this relate to your experience at Cornell and your careers as lawyers? First, like Ithaca and ice cream sundaes, wherever you go and whatever you do, you will take with you, from Ithaca, the relationships and friendships you've made here with the people around you. Your classmates, your friends, your colleagues, and your professors.
But, as importantly, you and your classmates can take the values you've learned at Cornell and continue to build a better world. I've had the chance to get to know many of you, and it would be hard to assemble a more decent, more thoughtful group of people. Build on those relationships as you step forward into new adventures.
Second, you've learned some great skills while here at Cornell Law School. They will support you throughout your career. I hope you'll use those skills to do something more valuable than targeting the good people of Two Rivers. You'll also be able to use the knowledge you've picked up here in ways that will make other people's lives better that will improve the world around us. Keep that in mind as you look to the future.
And, finally, don't forget the cherry on top of the sundae. It's my favorite part. Just as you would savor every delicious bite of an ice cream sundae, now and then, like today, stop and take a moment to reflect on the experience. Take pride in the great many things you've accomplished and appreciate all that you've learned.
Dean Ohlin quoted, actually he rapped, President White who said, as the law school's goal, the production of well-trained, large-minded, morally-based lawyers in the best sense. There's a lot of ambition packed into that short phrase, but I do think it describes the education that Cornell and my colleagues and I have had the honor to impart to you.
And, as importantly, it reflects who you are and how you will succeed in your future lives and careers. My colleagues and I hope, indeed, we expect, you will all do great things. May each of you thrive as you have here at Cornell. Congratulations, and please stay in touch. Thanks very much.
[APPLAUSE]
JENS DAVID OHLIN: Thanks, Chuck. As impressive as all of our speakers have been this afternoon, we now come to what I suspect will be the highlight for most of the folks in this arena-- the formal recognition of our wonderful graduates. At this time, I'd like to turn these proceedings over to our Dean of Students.
MARKEISHA MINER: Thank you, Dean Ohlin. Graduates are recognized in alphabetical order by degree category. We begin this afternoon with our candidates for the degree of Doctor of the Science of Law. Santiago Molles.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
Cesar Ramirez-Salazar.
[APPLAUSE]
Following are the candidates for Master of Laws.
[READING NAMES]
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
Following are the candidates for the degree of Master of Laws in Law, Technology, and Entrepreneurship.
[READING NAMES]
Following are the degree candidates for Juris Doctor and Master of Laws in International and Comparative Law.
Don Izekor.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
[WHISTLES]
And now, we'd like to offer special recognition to a JD/LLM candidate from the Class of 2024. Conner Kent Robeson.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
Following are the candidates for the degree of Juris Doctor.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
[READING NAMES]
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
Dean Ohlin, back [AUDIO OUT]
CHOIR: (SINGING) Far above Cayuga's waters, with its waves of blue, stands our noble Alma Mater, glorious to view. Lift the chorus, speed it onward. Loud her praises--
[LAUGHTER]
JENS DAVID OHLIN: So that was the practice verse, apparently. Yeah. So congratulations to all of you. Now you can truly say that you are lawyers in the best sense. For generations, our students have sat in the same place as you, at convocation, and left here with degrees in hand, ready to make their mark on the world.
Like them, you will now leave as Cornell lawyers, ready to join a worldwide profession of problem-solvers, advocates, counselors, leaders, and global citizens. A professional life of purpose and promise awaits you, and it starts today. Please stand for the singing-- for real this time-- of the Alma Mater. The words appear on the last page of your program.
Once we conclude the Alma Mater, please remain standing while the faculty recesses out of the arena. And then, please, join us back at the Law School at Myron Taylor for a reception to celebrate our guests. Along the way, enjoy the Chimes concert in honor of our graduates.
CHOIR: (SINGING) Far above Cayuga's waters, with its waves of blue, stands our noble Alma Mater, glorious to view. Lift the chorus, speed it onward, loud her praises tell. Hail to thee, our Alma Mater! Hail, all hail, Cornell!
Far above the busy humming of the bustling town, reared against the arch of heaven, looks she proudly down. Lift the chorus, speed it onward, loud her praises tell. Hail to thee, our Alma Mater! Hail, all hail, Cornell!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
